I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize