Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
