Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
