I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize