o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
