Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
