Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
