Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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