bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
