i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
