K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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