I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
