HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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