what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Randomize
