butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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