Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
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