I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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