Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
