you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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