It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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