Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
