My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
