I'm lost and stupid without you.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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