pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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