We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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