And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
