what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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