this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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