I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
