and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
