Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
