..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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