I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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