ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
