Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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