AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
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