Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
