i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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