Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
