yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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