Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
True but thats because hes a fetus.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Randomize
