i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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