I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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