Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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