hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
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