so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
