I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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