you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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