turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
