Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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