I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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