It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
