Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
