have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
