I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize