I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
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