Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize