I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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